Searchlights
& Signal Flares
What do you want from your
writing?
March
2003
This
month: Arlene Mandell, Susan Starbird, Betty Winslow, Kate
Douglas, Ken Rodgers, Susan Bono, Terry Law, Jennie Orvino,
Jodi Hottel
I
Want More!
My
inner critic has been growing bigger and more vocal each
day, demanding MORE!!! Not just more words, but bigger and
better truths. Shut up! I tell her not too politely. People
will think I'm demented if I write my innermost thoughts.
They'll shun me in the supermarket.
When
unseemly ideas crop up, I try to squelch them, but my critic
is hopping and cheering on my shoulder. She is far more
outspoken than I am. This morning, as I was driving south
on Highway 101, I heard the words: We are becoming a nation
of gawkers, focusing on kidnapings and corpses, staring
greedily at each nightly news broadcast showing us scenes
of Laci Peterson's empty crib or debris from the latest
head-on collision. "Hooray," shouted the critic.
"You go girl!" Have I mentioned that she is shameless
in her use of clichés?
I
needed to add details to my gawker thesis and continued
writing in my head: I don't think I can stand once more
photo op of flickering candles and wilting bouquets at the
scene of some recent disaster. This has become our new public
way of mourning, creating roadside shrines where a drunken
teen took a corner too fast or a little girl stepped into
the roadway.
Yes,
I know you're turning against me right now, saying my remarks
are inappropriate, that people have a right to mourn for
fifteen minutes before moving on to the next tragedy. I
just think we can find a better way of responding than trite
remarks at the scene of the accident by ll p.m. TV field
reporters with bystanders gawking in the background and
us gawking from the comfort of our sofas.
Something
is propelling me, at this point in my writing career, to
tackle the ugly, self-indulgent truths of our society.I
don't know how I will do this. I don't know if I can. I
don't know if I want to!
Wouldn't
it be easier to write another charming little story while
the critic naps on my shoulder? Or a poem about hills like
crushed yellow-green velvet dotted with a few scenic black
and white cows ready to star in the next "Happy Cows"
commercial for our delicious California cheeses. See, you're
smiling now, but I know I need more!
Arlene
L. Mandell is an essayist, poet and short story writer whose
latest poetry chapbook, Variations on a Theme, is
available by contacting her at poetessalm@aol.com.
It
is said that we read in order to discover ourselves, and
that has certainly been true for me, although it's unclear
what I realize by reading a book on, say, the history of
salt. But also I write to discover myself (and as a "naïve"
writer that aspect of my life hasn't been fussed with by
external ideas of what or how I should be as a writer).
So I write for illumination of myself or my reader, whoever
she might be; I also protect my naiveté as a writer by not
thinking too much about a reader.
As
an illuminator I fulfill my greater mission in life, my
idea of What A Woman Does. A woman's job is to reveal that
which is hidden from others. My underlying assumption is
that revelation is good, and I'm not going to question that
now: what if I found out revelation is not good? Well, we
already know it's unwanted.
A
woman owes it to those around her to illumine the layers
of life, to peel away the onionskins that envelop the heart
of truth, the true-truth, not the factual-truth. A place
to start is with the factual truth -- the history of salt,
for example -- and then mine it all the way down. Because
in a tiny fact there is always a kernel of truth at its
heart. In every material thing there is a heart of truth.
Susan
Starbird is a Sebastopol, CA writer and marketing consultant.
Find out more about her work and her shoes at www.starbirdcreative.com.
I
want to express through my writing a sense of beauty and
wonder, of joy and playfulness, of hope and love, of belief
in a higher way and a deeper truth than the world sees on
life's surface. I want to make my readers wonder, "What
makes her love being alive so much, even after all she's
been through?" I want to make the world a little better
through the words I send out into it. I want to educate
and comfort and confront and redeem and entertain. And through
everything I do, I want to glorify God and His ways.
Betty
Winslow, wife, mother, writer, K-8 school librarian, and
head-over-heels-in-love Christian
The
washing machine is going, the dishes from dinner are still
on the table and I'm sitting in my office staring at my
computer, wondering how Bolden (character is my current
WIP) is ever going to get off the planet he's been lost
on......but I read your email and thought about your question:
What do you want from your writing? The first
word that popped into my head was "joy." I feel
so lucky to do what I do and actually get paid for it! I
find so much joy in my writing, and even more in the wonderful
fan mail I receive from readers all over the globe who are
following my series. It's an amazing feeling, to write things
that make you glad, to send them off to a publisher and
then to receive such wonderful letters back from people
who have not only read your words, but loved them! Such
a concept!!!
I
don't think I ever considered the impact of my stories before.
Face it, my romances are light-hearted and fun, but far
from earth-shattering, and the s/f stories are an absolute
hoot but rarely delve much deeper than a sexy romp in a
fictional futuristic earth. However, I recently wrote a
story that took off with a life of its own. My characters
were an alien female and a human male. Without planning
it, I discovered my heroine had a history of sexual abuse.
I really didn't want her to be that conflicted, but that's
the way she "was." The book was fairly difficult
to write--remember, these are "romantica," which
means they are graphically sexual romances and need that
HEA (happily ever after) ending. I certainly don't find
child abuse sexy, nor do I enjoy reading or writing about
rape or assault, but that's exactly what happened when I
quit fighting my heroine and finally let her tell the story
her way.
I
ended up with a totally unexpected book with a conflicted
heroine who needed help to pull herself out of the darkness
and evil in her past. I do not usually write stories like
this, so you'll have to understand my utter amazement when
the fan mail started coming in shortly after the book was
released. Heartfelt letters from readers all over the world
who read Sheyna and Malachi's story in Pride of Imar
and found something that touched them, even empowered them.
The book has been nominated for numerous reader's choice
awards and is still my bestseller with my publisher, Ellora's
Cave. There is such joy in realizing you have touched someone,
especially when the result is totally unexpected.
So,
while this isn't the essay you're probably looking for,
it is an explanation as to why I am having such a wonderful
time with my work right now. I just finished a novella that's
going into an anthology...a reluctant werewolf who falls
in love with a woodsprite...both of them are being held
captive by young witches as part of their school science
project...
Like
I said, I'm having way too much fun right now!
Kate
Douglas is a California writer who believes in choice.
For
regular romances, see www.katedouglas.com.
For
those with steamier tastes, go to www.katedouglas.com/romantica.
Her
contemporary romance and romantic suspense books are available
at Hard Shell Word Factory www.hardshell.com or any bookseller.
See
Ellora's Cave www.ellorascave.com for her romantica.
I'm
an egomaniac
I
know
And
what I don't know
ain't
worth stowing
And
I want everybody to know
what
I've got stowed
I
want 'em to roll it
on
the end of the tongue
slap
it against the roof of the mouth
let
it seep
leak
into the gray matter
So
everybody can sing my praises
and
I will feel important
Ken
Rodgers stows his gear and speaks his mind in Sebastopol,
CA. He teaches workshops on the art of writing and can be reached
at KennethERodgers@aol.com
. .
What
Do I Want From My Writing?
I
know I've already asked myself this question on other occasions,
so what I want right now is to be able to remember what
I said about it before. My memory is so terrible that I
can't trust myself to let a single thought stick in my brain.
I can't even remember the introductory phrase to a sentence
as I'm writing it-it's as if the words show up as little
dark smudges of ink there for a moment, then cover themselves
with mental White-Out in the next. Once I turn the page
in a journal or notebook, I suddenly have no clear certainty
that there's anything written on the side facing away from
me. I get the feeling I've picked up some stranger's notebook,
opened it at random and started moving my pen. If it weren't
for the slight ache in my fist and the pressure of familiar
pen strokes showing through this side of the paper, I'd
be tempted to think I was starting at zero.
But
today, at least, I'm able to find my way back to the question
of wanting something from my writing, so I can tell you
that what I want is proof that I had an interesting thought
more than once in my life and writing is one way of creating
evidence to that effect. What I'd also like is to only have
to say things once and then move on, but with a bad memory,
I'll probably never be sure of doing that. However, even
if I can't remember specific words or phrases, introductions
and conclusions, after all these years of writing, I usually
do know when I'm on familiar ground. On a good day, I get
the feeling I'm cracking the window a little wider, getting
a better look at the whole picture, which makes up for the
times I'm thinking, "Oh THAT old sob story again."
But
writing about the same old things again and again seems
to be one way of getting over them. I figure if I repeat
myself often enough I'll get a few things out of my system
and finally move on to the good stuff. That's what I really
want from my writing-to get to the good stuff.
Susan
Bono keeps chasing the good stuff at www.tiny-lights.com.
CREATION
VACUUM: REST IN PEACE
Here
lies Creativity, sunk in the year my tax person is going
to ax the Writer's Schedule C he bestowed on me three years
ago for want of any further signs of gain, businesswise,
successwise.
Last
night, NPR's Margaret Warner, in her shy folksy way, quizzed
her homeland-securityminded guests about how Americans should
respond to a Red Cross Alert in regard to the nation's newly
upgraded colorcode. After hearing the usual survival advice
to assemble in one room with a portable radio, food, water,
blankets, candles & batteries for I forget how many
days, I turned off Margaret Warner's earnest friendly face.
It wasn't until 2 this morning that I woke up remembering
what hadn't registered on the 6 o'clock News: "Duct
tape your windows and doors!"
Granted
I must have a sluggish I.Q. not to make Schedule C work
for me at least once in 3 whole years, but why did it take
me 8 whole hours to let this line sink in, this most unusual,
this first-time, this most aggressive line of all?
I
didn't want to hear it. Which is why I zapped Margaret Warner
and turned on comedic mush instead. While I was sleeping,
it caught up with me.
"Duct
tape your windows and doors!"
We've
had it before: The Great Depression (find a job); Pearl
Harbor (find an Army) the Cuban crisis (find a bomb shelter),
the regional incident of 9/11 (find Osama). Some of us who
lived through all that may still find ourselves startled,
after so many years of relative homeland peace, by the gentle
question: "How do you think Americans will react to
sealing their doors and windows with duct tape?"
As
I live and breathe! I don't believe that bears answering!
Today
I'm going to curl up with a Virginia Woolf; her everyday
steepage in the classics will lull me to forget I have only
enough duct tape to do the bathroom, which is full of vents
and pipes from outside anyway. Not that I'll ever use it.
The tape I mean.
Virginia
Woolf in "A Room of One's Own" makes a case against
Charlotte Bronte for sullying her writing genius with author
anger, however justified it may be, quoting Ms. Bronte's
midnovel narrator rant on contemporary women writers' disadvantages.
Shakespeare, says VW, would never do that, never let it
be known if he's for or agin' his characters. Hostessing
her way through "Mrs. Dalloway," ladling up an aromatic
daube for "To the Lighthouse" guests, Ms. Woolf
mostly manages to seal out any anger of her own.
That
is what I've learnt this week. That my creative failure
must be for lack of inhibition. So while I'm letting unspeakable
seepage into my house at the end of the Hajj I'll start
on a new piece of writing, first taping up every trace of
emotion that happens to be mine.
Terry
Law lives not far from where Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds"
was filmed.
"What
do you want from your writing?"
The question is not so much what do I want from my writing
as what am I willing to give to my writing. I approach this-what
is it, propensity, vocation, obsession?-like an intimate
relationship which demands attention, care, respect, nourishment
and a long leash. I also need to acknowledge that I write
for the satisfaction of self-expression and sometimes for
money. I love to read for audiences and I do it for the
glory of the Muse and to get some of her reflected spotlight.
Each day I renew the commitment to my relationship "vows":
pay attention, honor your process, be patient, read other
writers, and "keep your hand moving."
Some writing is easy. Once a day, at least, I take up
my journal to document, moan, rage, affirm, list and notice:
Often I start with "today I celebrate myself for." whether
I'm feeling blue or feeling high. As I did as I teen-ager,
I write about requited and unrequited love. On the floor
of my bedroom closet there are cardboard boxes full of 40
years of this stuff. For the gift of daily loyalty, my writing
gives in return a container for my psyche, my Self. And
when the Muse grins, I might find the seed of a poem in
the pages of my diary.
My other easy writing is correspondence. I've always
written letters, with special pens, stationery with matching
envelopes, and cursive technique drilled into me by grade-school
nuns. When I learned to type, I had a tiny corner desk,
the Hermes manual, and a hand-painted, hinge-top box for
stamps. And now, email! My passion, my delight, my marketing
tool, my romance builder, my connection to hundreds, maybe
thousands of like-minded souls. My longest-lasting friendships
seem to be with those who "give good mail." And beyond the
intimacy of deep electronic conversations, there's the gift
of online magazines and instant publishing, which has connected
me with writers around the world. For keyboards, electricity,
DSL lines, chats and lists (a mixed blessing), and the ability
to communicate with my fingers, I give thanks.
My journalistic and creative writing is more challenging,
and. the greater the risk, the greater the reward. When
I do meet a deadline, write something I'm proud of that
pleases, provokes, inspires, I get a sense of "being who
I really am, doing what I'm supposed to do." That sounds
a little corny, but how else to say what I seek through
writing is a feeling of wholeness, a relaxing into "aaahhhh,
now that's more like it."
WHAT
I WANT FROM YOU
“We do
not write in order to be understood;
we write in order to understand.” - C. Day Lewis
I want you to
nurture me,
frustrate me, engage me,
connect me to parts of myself
I didn’t know were there,
like muscles aching from
renewed use and strain.
Clutch my throat, astonish me
with the words I utter.
Take my stuttering tongue
and make it wail.
I want you to
be dependable,
to teach me patience,
to be essential to my life,
When I have set you aside,
I want to return and find you quiescent,
waiting for me to lift you to the light,
warm you with my breath
and watch you begin to quiver.
I want you to
hold me
in a still, solitary place
for a few moments each day
so that when I step back into the world,
I will walk a liminal path
with new strength and grace.
~Jodi Hottel,
Santa Rosa
Thanks
to all who participated this month. It's good to know you're
out there. Check this column at the beginning of each month
to see what's new. Return to Searchlights & Signal Flares
menu for future topics and guidelines.